Community rallies behind ‘Officer Jim’

 There's a lot of different areas of my life that I've not been mentioning or keeping updates on.. I want this blog to be about my life..

A huge part of my life is my family. My daddy was diagnosed with cancer this past year. We casually tell people that it's liver cancer, but it's technically a huge name I can't pronounce. Basically it's cancerous tumors on his liver. There's no cure, and the doctors can't operate on them. He just finished up his first round of radiation.

A few months ago he called and told me about the night he found out he had cancer. He was sitting at home with his now wife, Heather, when he received the call. He said he looked at her and told her their worst fears were realized, and the tumors, were in fact, cancerous. Daddy said in that moment, he didn't reach out to God.. but that God reached to him, and wrapped my dad up in His arms and held him tight. Daddy said besides worrying about his family, mainly his children (he has 6 children, my sister and I being the oldest.) and Heather...he has a complete peace about this. I've noticed such a difference in my dad that completely blows me away, and I can't explain the joy I feel that my prayers have finally been answered. I hate the circumstances and that my family, especially my younger siblings and stepmother are going through, but I rejoice in the fact that God is God, and that He has us in His hands, no matter what happens.

Daddy has served on the Mt. Airy Police Department for several years.. fulfilling his lifelong dream of going into law enforcement. Last month, he had to retire early due to the cancer. The police department and community decided to rally behind him and hold a benefit run/walk. That day was so overwhelming for me personally. Noticing Daddy's humility and modesty and how his life has impacted this community. I went through the gates of the Mt. Airy High School football field and was stunned by the mass of people mingling around, listening to the bands, chit-chatting with each other, and examining the silent auction items... They were everywhere! And the majority were wearing shirts, "Running Back-up for Officer Jim."

The t-shirts and bracelets worn in support for Officer Jim.

I hugged my family and took in the crowd, being introduced and hugged, and told what a wonderful man my father was.. and how he had touched their lives. I watched as people hugged my daddy and my stepmom and with tear filled eyes told them how much they loved them, how they were their heroes, and that they were praying for them.

A little later as we prepared to begin the run, there were speeches by several people of the community, including the mayor of Mt. Airy, the Superintendent of the schools, the chaplain, and several other people who Daddy had worked for and with and who gave first hand accounts of the impact he had on the community, and the effort that was raised into helping raise money. What got me was the children who gave up their tooth fairy money to go towards this cause. Dear Lord, bless those children!! That to me is the same as someone giving a million dollars..

Daddy then got up and made a speech. "Are you excited? Are you? Well you don't sound it!" LOL He spoke softly, but strong and steady to the crowd. I was held captivated by what he said. He explained what the cancer was.. and that the doctors had given him only so much time left. He shared the news of the cancers shrinking AFTER the chemo treatments had been stopped. "How about that, Doc?" he grinned at the crowd. I was so proud of him, my heart ached. As he came off the stage, my grandpa looked at me and smiled. "Are you proud of him?" Yes, I am proud of him.

We started the run/walk from the high school, looping around downtown "Mayberry" and back to the high school. My family was carried in golf carts while my aunt and her family and I and my boyfriend, Ben, ran/walked with the rest of the crowd. Everyone was laughing about how hard it was.. complaining about the hills.. and then we came to a sign that about stopped me in my tracks. "Thank you, Jim! We love and support you!" Sign after sign.. people standing on their lawns, yelling encouragement to us to keep going.. I was amazed. And then we hit main street.. people were lined the streets as if a parade.. half of them holding signs saying "Hero" "We're praying for you!" "Thank you, Officer Jim" It hit me all over.. this is happening, and this is my Daddy. It broke my heart.. We really do need these prayers for a miracle.. and that so many people were praying was encouraging. No matter what happens.. God's got us in His hands. <3

I'm not sure if anyone from the Mayberry area is reading this.. but you are huge in my hearts and have no idea the effects of the prayers and support is to my family! Thank you so much to everyone who came out, and who continues to support my dad!! 

Counting it.. ALL joy...

<3

My Dad's shirt. 

Mayberry Bears!

Music, and face painting and jump castle!! woo hoo!!

Enjoying the sunshine and music..

My family chatting with a neighbor.. we really are blessed with the people in our lives.

My grandmother chatting with a friend.

Community rallies behind ‘Officer Jim’:

Letters from the past..

I've been getting together my letters and things for a support letter to go out soon.. I'm still feeling some "eh" moments.. LOL I really have to let it go... 

Today as I was cleaning out EVERYthing in my room.. I ran across all my old letters and notes from teammates and family members and supporters. Then I found one written when I was debriefing on my Euroquest missions trip in the year 2000. We were told to write a letter to ourselves and we would mail it, so we could read it later. I received it about a month later, so my feelings weren't too different. However, twelve years later, having been through so much.. it's interesting what the 16 year old me has to say to me now. I remember wondering what would happen and where my life would go. I never imagined I would be where I am now.. 

Here it is: 

Dear Future Jessa:                 8/7/00

I don't know what you are feeling right now as you read this, but I know what I'm feeling as I write this. I feel a sick-pit in my stomach because the summer is going, and I don't want to leave. This summer has been incredible! Remember everyone? How awesome they are? remember what God taught you? Do you remember clowning? How fun that was? Do you remember the people on the street? How lost they are, and have no clue about what God can do in their lives? Remember the woman in Amsterdam, the one in Paris? The couple in Austria? The man in Germany? Jessa, do you remember what you were gonna do to change your world when you got home? Continue your clown ministry, start a d-group with the homeschool teen girls, be a light with my attitude and fire for God. Show God's love to the people of Galax by being like Jesus. Jesus would talk to them, be a friend. Be in a better relationship with my parents. That one is especially important. Dug deeper into the Bible; you should have lots to learn about. Don't stop reading the Bible. Work hard so you can go on a trip next year, darling. When you finish this letter, I encourage you to go back and read the journal I kept while on the trip. Look at all the pictures, and just remember. God is awesome, and this was an awesome summer where I learned so many cool things. Reflect on the time between us. What's happened? If you need to exhale & inhale, do that now, and get your life back to where it was when I left; totally on fire for God. I'm praying for the future me.  

<3 Jessa

PS Write to everyone & keep working on verses everyday so you can go to London next year, ok? :) 

LOL Oooh.. I love it!! Where my heart was.. this relationship with Christ is such an up and down journey. Things happen. Life happens. We make choices and changes. I feel so innocent and naive, and yet sometimes so strong in knowing what I wanted and where I was going when I think about 16 year old Jessa. I just wanted to share that letter :) 

 

 

Asia team: 2002. 

Another letter I'd like to share is one that I received from my middle school Sunday School teacher. This man is still held in high esteem. His love for Christ inspired me to walk closer to God in my own relationship. Any letters from home on a missions trip are better than presents on Christmas.. but reading this today.. also 12 years later, pulls on my heartstrings. For some odd reason, it felt like the words written a decade ago, were also written for me today:

DearJessyca,                                                                                           

I pray that this letter will find you in good health and spirits.

Jessyca, do you realize that God has seen fit to bless you to do something that most people will never get the chance to do? That is to share His gospel in another country and better yet, you're doing it in not only one, but several countries! I am very proud of you and your commiment to our Lord. I have always felt that God would bless others with your life ever sine I was blessed to have you as one of my students in Sunday School. 

Be assured, Jessyca, that you and your group are always in my thoughts and prayers. I hope that each day of your missions work you will grow a little bit closer to Jesus Christ. For if this will be the case, then no matter what you may have to suffer through, it will be worth the trouble. You will be a better Christian for it. Plus the world will be a little bit better off because of Jesus and your commitment to Him.

I may not have understood what he meant then.. but I do now.. and I treasure these words of wisdom from the past. This just gives me more of a boost to continue the path I'm walkin' on!! :) 

Counting it ALL Joy,

Jessa

From Fear to Faith

And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:7

This past week has seriously been a test of my faith! LOL There has been so much going on...but God and I have had a lot, if not non-stop, prayer-time. I believe I mentioned that my goal this year was to learn to "breathe God"... LOL I wasn't sure what that meant.  Maybe it meant that I was to learn to be dependent on God for absolutely everything.. to make my life centered and focused solely on Him. Never ask God for something unless you're willing to be challenged and woke up to life around you! :) Every day there's a new challenge for me to grow and change. It's incredibly exciting!! 

I had somewhat of an epiphany (well several) this past week. I have been emailing the team lead, Dieuwke (Dew-ka), a wonderful woman with a beautiful spirit for God, about the change from Creative to Compassion. She mentioned I needed $2000 AUD before my application was prayed over and reconsidered for the Compassion. It scared me a bit, because I don't have that. So, I took a week praying over whether or not I needed to pursue this. I've crunched numbers.. prayed and pondered and weighed options as to if I should go or not, or should I stay... should I wait and go next year, or pursue it this year? It's hard not going next month to Creative, and I'll be honest, it'll hurt if I can't go on Compassion.

I had two conversations with two different people that really revealed a few things that were going on that I wasn't aware of or really thought about. On my support group page on Facebook, I posted that I am trying to find ways to raise money. There are so many ideas that I have to raise the money! However I do have a full time job at the same time, so I do need financial supporters and backers. Even if I spent a year working, I won't be able to raise this on my own. One friend suggested I write support letters. It has been ten years since I've been on my past missions trips. This is a whole new ballgame, being 28 and going on not just a missions trip, but an actual 6 month school. I'm leaving my job, my home, I'll be selling pretty much everything to do this. I feel very passionate about this.. but I wasn't sure how this would be taken by my supporters from a decade ago. I was reminded it that it wouldn't hurt to try! LOL Which is true... 

The other conversation I just started talking without realizing what was going on internally. I just spilled out what I was feeling and thinking to my best friend. I said I needed support, and it was scary because for me this isn't the same as before. This isn't a trip where I'm a teenager and everything at home stays the same. This time I won't have my job, or car, or security like last time. It also feels more acceptable for a teenager to go on a missions trip or to a missionary school.. because they're taking those steps towards their future. For me, I have a fear of what it will look like to the people I'm reaching out to for help. I'm afraid of what their thoughts and possible judgments will be.. "She's 28, why now?" "How can she not raise the money on her own, she's an adult!" and I could give a whole list of the questions that pop up in my head that pretty much run along the same line! Where ten years ago, this would be more of an accepted reality, it feels more like a nice dream to take a break.. travel the world.. and come back home while the bill is being footed by someone else who is staying behind and working their full time job. (One thing about adult me: I try to be as independent as possible.. lol.. as a grown up, charity is harder for me to take.) 

I realize that I'm letting my fears become greater than  my God. It's a lot easier staying here and not taking a chance on what God has out there for me. In Jeremiah 29, the Bible talks of how God promises us a hope and a future.. and not a life that will harm me. And I keep hearing Jesus say over and over, "I came that you might have life.. and have it more abundantly." For me, I feel my call is in the ministry, and specifically overseas. This 6 month school is not just a whim or a passing fancy or an early mid-life crisis. For me this is a decision to put aside 6 months of my life to dedicate to Christ.. it's a decision to spend every moment of my time learning to "breathe God". It's a decision to become closer to Him and learn about Him through others during the school, and on the field as we become His hands and feet to the people we meet. I believe this school will raise the bar on what I've been through in the past.. and I want that change in my life to form me into a stronger child of God.

I'm leaving my fears at God's feet, and I don't want to pick them back up again. As far as the question of should I continue.. (with my nagging fear of.. mainly if I don't accomplish this, I'll really look silly or like I wasn't following God's will..) I'm going to go. I emailed Dukes about everything and about the need of $2000 AUD before I can officially be accepted.. and for some weird reason.. I felt no fear.. no worry.. I feel peace. A peace that seriously passes all understanding.. but I know that I will follow this until the end. If I don't make it.. I know that I'm making the steps towards God and a life of no fear.. and continuing to grow closer to my Jesus.

If you've been reading these and can or know of someone who would be willing to become a financial supporter.. send me the name, email and/or address so I can get in touch with them. As of right now, I'll be putting the money in a savings account till I have it raised and deposit it directly to YWAM Newcastle. After I'm accepted, I can continue to take donations in my name, or there will be a link where you can send money directly to the school in to go towards my fees. I'll be sending support letters out this next week or two. I would really love for a good strong prayer team, as well as financial supporters!! 


I'm leaving this in God's hands, and praising Him for the outcome that He already knows about! :) 


Counting it All Joy, 
Jessa

Break my Heart, Lord.

Ok you'll have to forgive me if I repeat things from post to post.. sometimes things go over and over in my head.. and I'll ponder it until I've soaked it all in. (Yes, I'm weird.)

I remember being 16 and on my first overseas missions trip to Europe when I started singing a song.. "Break my heart, Lord... for the things that break yours." This concept challenged me a bit. What must God see when He looks at this world. I normally do what comes naturally to everyone and look at the world through my eyes.. my thoughts.. my opinions. But what does God see? What breaks His heart? And what would happen if I truly prayed that? So I did.. and for the years after that, traveling through Europe and Asia, and even working here at home, I think that changed me as a person. When you meet people, it's so hard to put up a guard and a front, and to be nice and polite, but not go deeper. I truly care for the people I meet, and I want them to know that. I want people to see Christ in me. I love when people tell me that they sense a peace and joy about me, and they want that.. why do I have that? How do I have that? It's really not me, it's Him. I love asking people how are they, how are things... I think sometimes people just give small answers that don't really answer the question. I'm not trying to pry.. but I do want them to know that if they need someone to talk to, I'm here. It's amazing what simple hug or smile can do to brighten someone's day. As Christians, I believe that we're God's hands and feet. It blows people's minds when you do something for them, just for the sake of doing it for Christ. When you see people through Jesus' eyes... you see the hurts, and the needs.. but you also see what you can do to help.

When I traveled with the organization Royal Servants, they did what they called "Servant Projects". During the training camp phase before we went overseas, they set aside a day to send the students out into a local town. We were geared up with things to hold car washes, to clean houses, and to pass out drinks. It was an incredibly hot day.. so we would run to cars that stopped at a light and asked if they wanted a drink. Or we would hold signs and yell free car wash. We went knocking on doors and asked the people if there was anything we could do to help them such as mow their yards, or rake leaves, or wash their cars.. anything they needed, what could we do? At first I helped with washing cars.. I noticed several people kind of badgering our students, getting out of the car and asking WHY are we doing this? What was our angle? What did we want? How much was this going to cost.. really? LOL All for a free coke.. or a free car wash. People can't fathom the word "free" anymore. We would simply tell them, "We want to show Jesus love in a practical way." I learned that summer, Jesus was quite the hands-on go-getter on earth. He met real needs. He healed the sick, He helped the lame, He fed the 5000. Through us today, I believe He would go door to door and ask people, "What can I do for you?" By mid-afternoon that day, we broke out into groups.. I was teamed with a group who had been knocking on doors that morning. They explained that they had come across a woman and her son who lived in a small two story house with a lot of cats. They had offered to clean the place. We ran to the grocery store and bought cleaning supplies and I believe they did buy some food. I remember walking in and thinking a few cats was an understatement. The place was run-down, and dirt was everywhere. The middle-aged son was overweight, and sitting on a skinny mattress in front of the t.v. Cats were everywhere. You could tell the woman had a soft heart and loved these animals. I'm not sure what their story was.. but we were here to do what we needed to so she could feel that God had not abandoned her, and that He loves her. One of the girls on our team, spent time helping the woman in her kitchen. I'm not sure what she did, but I do know that she sat down and started reading the woman's mail for her, because the woman had been without glasses for sometime. I was upstairs mopping a bedroom floor. One of the boys on our team, a 16 year old, came and was watching me and another girl work, and warned us not to go in a certain corner because it looked like it was about to cave in. I remember at that point I hadn't gotten to know that boy very well, other than that he liked to laugh and joke and was completely goofy. (We had a pretty big team.. so it took about a month to get to know everyone.) I thought this boy had a pretty tough exterior. He went into the bathroom and started cleaning something that looked as if it used to be a toilet. I remember thinking the floor was just a simple brown.. and started with half bleach and water... then more bleach... finally I was taking the bottle of bleach and pouring it on the floor. I scrubbed and scrubbed until a little bit later I realized the floor wasn't just brown.. but it was so caked in dirt that I couldn't even see that the floor had teddy bear designs on it. It broke my heart that someone lived like this. We cleaned as much as we could, until we heard it was time for us to go. We gathered our things, and as we passed the bathroom, the boy was still scrubbing the toilet with tears running down his face.
Break my heart, for the things that break Yours, Lord.
We left the woman, who broke down thanking us for our work. She said no one had shown us that type of compassion and love. I've gone knocking on doors and handing out tracks, but for me, this was the most effective way to minister to someone I have ever seen. It touches people. People have needs.. people go through things and they feel hopeless and lost. If we as Christians, did this more often.. what would the results be? I believe people would see Christ at work. Most normal people of this world, don't do those kinds of things.. especially for free. What would it benefit us to get our hands dirty? Nothing. But as Christians.. we're not of this world. What does it benefit us? It grows us into people who are molded more into the image of Christ. I say all the time that actions scream louder than words. I know for my own needs.. I worry and I fret.. and I try to trust God. I try to trust God with my finances for my trip, and for every little worry and fear that comes along with making this decision to leave for 6 months and do this. I hate asking people for help..but oh, how much it would mean to me if someone did help. So what can I do for others?
When we returned back to training camp that day, we discussed with a leader what had happened and the situation. They said they worked with local churches in that area, and called a few of them.. and told us a few days later that someone from the church had reached out and was helping that family.
Break my heart, for the things that breaks Yours, Lord.

My prayer right now is that God allows me to be His hands and feet. To show His love in practical ways. I pray for the people that are put in my path, and that I'm aware of why they are there, and what I need to do. I want my heart to break for the things that breaks God's heart.. so I'll be able to be more effective for Him.

Counting it All Joy ~ Jessa

I Love Your Ways

I have said several times that I wish that I could meet myself. Step outside my body and watch me through my day and as I meet people and then come up and shake my hand and get to know me. What do people see? I know what I want portrayed.. and who I am by my thoughts, but how do other people see me? I want more than anything for them to look at me and see a mirror image of Christ. My goal is to become a godly woman, and for people to want what I have.. which is the the joy and peace of Jesus in me.

As I said in the last blog, I've really been going through a lot lately.. and I did something most Christians try to avoid: I asked God why. I'm dealing with mourning for someone who was close... I'm dealing with a new relationship with my father. I'm dealing with a new job.. and realizing I'm not going to be able to control my life by trying to steer it my way. Every time I step up and try to control what's going on in my life, things happen beyond my control that just reminds me again that life is life, and there's nothing I can do about it. I'm learning God's ways aren't my ways.. and even if I don't understand WHY things happen.. and WHY I can't have my way.. and WHY God brings people in my life at certain times and WHY and what is my purpose with certain people and situations.. it's all apart of a bigger picture. The past week I've learned more about myself, and I'm feeling like the closer I move to God.. the more I see myself.

I was feeling bummed about not being able to go on the Creative DTS, but I have been thinking about how the work with Compassion is a lot more advanced then the ministry I've done in the past. My main purpose and goal is to take myself out of the rat race I feel stuck in, and shift my universe from my bills to my God. As a Christian, that's the most important relationship I have, and it's slipping, and I want to fight for it. I think maybe if I lay aside everything... even my photography, it'll help me focus a bit more. Instead of spending 6 months focusing on God and my photography.

I'm not sure exactly why things are happening, but I do see that despite everything.. God knows, and He is still molding me into a woman of God. And that's what I need to realize and stay close to.

I'm slowly seeing answers to my prayers.. but I am still struggling with mainly the financial aspects. I'm really hoping also to find a new church family who I feel comfortable with asking to surround me with prayer, as well as finding prayer partners while I'm overseas. As every missions trip, it feels very up and down and one step forward five steps back kind of process. It touches my life in every way.. but more than anything, my focus is on Jesus and to be faithful to Him.

Peter Furler - Reach

I'm dedicating this song to my Daddy.. who's living proof of God's grace and love.. and the fact that we don't need to do anything.. because Christ's loving arms are already reaching for us!

A Hope and a Future...

  "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

I've started a few of these blogs, but can never finish.. I start out strong and then fizzle out. The past few weeks has been some kinda crazy emotional roller coaster ride.. and I'm ready to get off at any point now.. However normally when something's up (or down..).. God's got a plan to teach me something..  

I've been excitedly planning my upcoming school trip to Australia... and then life hits you kinda hard. Normally in the way of something simple.. like a little white envelope labeled "Bill." (I don't know why they keep sending me his mail... anyways..) So I started praying and going over everything to figure what would be the best way to raise support and take care of things at home before I leave in 8 (well.. now officially 7) weeks! 

Then I received news that kinda shook me up a bit: someone who had been close to me last year, recently passed away. This news hit me hard. I have only had a couple of people close to me pass away, and they were older and we were expecting it. This was a shock. Someone who was so young, and had so much life to live.. and now they were gone. It took me a bit (still taking me awhile to grasp it.) that someone who laughed and loved and lived and experienced life.. isn't here anymore on this earth. I had several people listen and talk to me, and let me cry and vent. But the biggest thing that helped was the simple: "Just know I'm praying for you." There's not a lot to say sometimes that'll make you feel better when you're going through something. It got to a point where I wasn't sure how to handle it. I started reading a lot of Psalms, and letting God tell me through His word that He was there, people were praying for me, and that He hadn't left me. I felt the ability to go through daily tasks, and surrounded myself with friends and family that love me and make me laugh. It is sad that someone lost their life.. but my life is still going, and I didn't want it to come to a stand still. I'm still in a time of mourning, but God's showing me that I need to continue with my life and my plans.. That He's created a life for me that has a hope.. and a future. I'm so grateful for His strength and promises for a hope.

So praying over everything that's been going on.. plus my finances and taking care of things before I go (If anyone wants to buy some dishes.. let me know!!) I've been discussing the fact of not going to the Creative DTS in July. I have the opportunity to either wait till next year, or hop on-board the next DTS. Sooooo...I'm seeing about changing to the Compassion DTS!! It starts on October the 2nd, and ends on March 16th, 2012. Compassion has a mercy-focused ministries. The outreach will be anything from working with children in Asia, to evangelizing to brothel owners in Eastern Europe. So far, they have announced three of the four outreach locations. I'm very excited to have the chance to work in these areas. It's a step up from what I've done as a teenager, and I believe it'll stretch me out of my comfort zone. My constant prayer is that God will mold me into a woman who reflects my Heavenly Father.


For my prayer requests.. I've had a few people asking!!

I really need prayer for:

• A prayer partner group - I'd like a few close people who will kind be on my "team Jessyca". Ones to help handle things back home in case something happens, but also a very close support group for more personal needs. Anyone want to be apart of this.. just holler :) 
• New church family - I go to a certain church when I can, but with work, it's not been possible lately. I'm hoping to find a church family closer to home, where I feel at home and a connection with the people. Finding a new church always makes me feel nervous! LOL 
• "Taking care of the Others".. The "Others" is the big elephant in the room that keeps following me, and I don't like looking at it! I've got a few things that needs to be taken care of before I go. Without going into a lot of detail, I just need prayer that doors will open to where I can take of my leftover debt as quickly as I can, so I can focus all my resources more on this trip.
• My car. I love my car.. but I can't take it to Australia with me! I'm hoping I can find someone to buy it.
• My storage unit and... storage...stuff. I have a storage unit filled to the brim with stuff leftover from my old house. I need to go through it.. huge undertaking.. prayer for strength and wisdom with what to do with it! Once again.. anyone need dishes?? :) 
• Support raising opportunities and open doors.
• My nerves! 
• Visas and Plane Tickets.. I'm starting to look.. 
• Keep praying for the decision to go from the Creative DTS and Compassion DTS.. I'd be excited to do either, but I will admit that I'll be a little bit disappointed over losing the creativity focus. I do think there's a reason I need to go on Compassion though. So pray for peace over that decision, so I can continue my journey!!